Qualities in a car are simlar to qualities in a man

So, has anyone ever noticed that finding the right car is like finding the right man. Each of us have our own set of criteria. Here's how I want my car and my man. Now, I do have to say, finding the right car is easier, but let's think about it.
Young yet mature: In guy terms-A guy that isn't out of the age range you all know I have, but doesn't need to call Mommy everyday or ask Daddy to pay his phone bill still. In car terms-new, but not the first year of the model, one that has all the kinks worked out.
No baggage: In guy terms-No ex-girlfriends that still bug the shit of them. No ex-wives, no kids, no fathers that abused them as children. In car terms-no wrecks, no excessive carfax reports, no stains on the seat that show proof some stupid little kid can't keep his drink in his sippy cup.
One that you feel comfortable with. In guy terms- One that won't make fun of your love handles because you're addicted to ice cream. One that you can pee in front of. I' m a therapist. You cannot gross me out, therefore I expect reciprocation. One that will hold your hair back when you're vomiting on the tennis courts...oh wait that was Jessie after she made White Castles go out of business. In car terms-one that you can change the radio station without taking your eyes off the road for ten minutes. One that doesn't make your ischial tuberosities hurt like hell after a couple hours in the seat.
One that is economic and efficient. In guy terms- no you cannot go buy a new motorcycle, but yes I am allowed to buy myself whatever I want whenever I want without calling to ask and yes I am a hypocrite. Grow up. Get a savings account and quit drinking so much beer. In car terms- I don't want to get 10 mpgs. I want a lot of space and comfort and I don't want to pay $100,000 for it.
One that can help me get where I want to go: In guy terms-I want one that will work his ass off so that I can open my own pottery store, or take 7 months off to hike the AT. In car terms- I want to drive through the Rockies and through the woods and on the beach and through the plains.
Clean...no one wants a dirty car or a dirty boy. No more needed here.
One that my friends think is hot: In guy terms- I want my friends to think, "damn, I wish my guy looked like that". In car terms- I want my friends to think "damn, I wish my car looked like that".
One that caters to my wants: In guy terms- One that will tailgate with me and my friends and take me to every Bengals game, even if they are 430 miles away and one that will take me to every shoe store from here to Chicago and doesn't question the fact that I have 15 pairs of Chacos and one that doesn't judge me for letting my girls sleep in bed with me and will move to the spare bedroom if he's in the girls' way. In car terms-one that fits everything under the sun that is orange and black, holds a huge pot of chili and stays warm when it's 15 below with wind chill and will allow my girls to see the world through every window.
One that Mom approves of: In .guy terms- You have to impress Mom. Trust me, you will have a life of hell if you don't. In car term- Mom has to agree that it's a good purchase and a good deal. I won't live it down if she doesn't approve.
One that my best friend Jessie approves of. In guy terms-Believe me, the only person harder to impress than mom and Celia is Jessie. The second she says you're not worthy, you're out. In car terms-Jessie has to be able to get into and out of it without a ladder. She's small.
Now, I know in reality this guy doesn't exist, but at least the car does.